whereareyougoingstanley

i don't really know what's going on with my life at the moment
like
i keep listening to i dreamed a dream because it just feels relevant...
i keep eating too much and i keep beating myself up about it
i've been gaining muscle though because i've been doing weights and i discovered that i love love weights in a strange feminist way haha :P

but like
i'm learning things that are interesting
and i want to care
and i do care
and i want to try hard
and i do try hard

but there's just no time! and i just waste too much time! and i just don't know where all the time is always going all the time?!?!?!!?!! ajoifjaweofi ajewofaeoawp

I just want
to be satisfied.

that's all i want at this point
is just to be able to do something well or try my hardest at something or have a good day or heck even just a good hour and just be able to just
accept it
and congratulate myself
and let myself have that success
without questioning everything and being so unsure and being so critical and being so
imperfect
all the time

i feel like i want someone to help me like i need someone to reassure me
but i also feel like i need this to come from me
i just
jaiofjawefajwefjwaoeifjwaeojaowej a
everything happens at once