whereareyougoingstanley

well
i've basically spent the entire day doing nothing
just
watching tv with jess and ben
and eating
and well it was nice
it was really nice to hang out with them all day and actually feel connected to my family :)

but i've also been having this painful non-communication time with kate just because our phones are dumb and tumblr keeps not sending through our messages and i dislike it intensely it sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks
so
yeah
i keep not doing anything :P

but while i was sitting there not knowing what to do, i made this writing marathon about the steam interacting with the inside of my tea cup

:)

Steam

Tonight I watched steam
because I didn't know what to do
as you walked in and out of my room
and I put off hating myself
until you'd properly left.
It's incredible that I've never noticed this before
the play of mounds and valleys
a brilliant firework of hazy rainbow edges
as the shapes distort endlessly
like some sort of poorly animated graph
by a first year student
trying to impress their class
it just goes on and on
as the tea doubtless gets cold
as I always let it do
but this time
it's not out of neglect, it's out of fondness
this bond I have formed with the steam
it needs me to watch it
as much as I need it to be there to give me purpose
for these 3 minutes, I am somebody
I am the girl who watches steam play with the inside of tea cups
who notices the forgotten
who saves the details of this
blue speckled purple cosine
that even now is dispappearing and reappearing elsewhere
there's never a dull moment
for the steam is always travelling
oh to be changeable
to go with things as they happen and not worry
opposite the handle or beside it, the wave moves
untroubled
free as the heat breaks out into the new world beyond the cup
Is it lucky I wonder
Did it have a good time,
putting on a show for me
there on the edge of the cup between the meniscus
and the rim?
Well I'd like to think so
or else what's the point
Keep going steam
don't stop
I'm thirsty now but I need something to drag me out of this
chill that no sweater seems to solve
I've let tea go cold before
and I probably will again
but this time
is different..
We've connected you and I
through your warmth and my need and your need to be free
we'll be great together,
steam,
just you wait, it'll just be you and me.